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Forgive, forget, move on. That’s probably the theme of my life; forgiveness. It’s what I do. I don’t believe in holding grudges. I don’t think it is healthy to hold onto something, letting it fester inside of you for ages until it is one big malignant mess. Because that is what a grievance becomes. A big green two-headed monster. One head you see, all nice and polite and making chit chat, while the other head is elusively hovering about, never really in your line of vision but there anyway, remembering, grudging.
If I wanted to, there could be plenty of things and people that I could be bitter about, my life has been far from perfect, but why would I want to? It is just a waste of time, it doesn’t solve anything and it makes you unhappy. No one who has resentment to someone else is really a happy person, now are they? You can’t be happy if you harbor ill will and you can’t love completely when your heart is cold to someone.
I have had a few friends at times express their thoughts when I forgive someone that caused me pain and often have to remind me what the person did that was so bad in the first place. Why? Because I really do forgive and forget. And then move on. I give everyone a chance. I give most people several. My Dad used to say when I was little and on the verge of trouble, “three strikes you’re out.” I put that to the discipline of my own children as well, but also in just general principle. I will try anything at least three times before I move on. Most times it has helped (I now love sushi thanks to my at least three times rule)!
Sometimes the rule applies to people. Sometimes you have to say, enough is enough. I will forgive you but I cannot continue in this direction. Unfortunately I am a rule-breaker. I let people in over and over. It isn’t that I am a glutton for punishment, it truly is that I forgave and forgot. I also would like to be forgiven of my own wrongs, because I know I have done my share of those and so I am not going to cast the first stone, or any stone for that matter. It is not my place to have animosity for anyone. My heart is always open to try again, because I am never holding a grudge. Life is too short, too precious to be unhappy. I choose happy.
“Love…it keeps no records of wrongs.”-I Corinthians 13:5